uncharted terriTORI by Tori Spelling: October 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up

!1: Now is the time You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up Order Today!

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$6.00
Date Created :
Oct 21, 2010 10:21:20

"Can’t a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin?"

You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered.

As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book." Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out," blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love—and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

!1: Best Buy I was in a sorority at USC in the mid 80s and KNEW Heather...and just saw her and Chelsea in their show this summer.
I never knew she was so darn funny ..who knew that this Gamma Phi with So LA CA hair and makeup was hysterical.

Lets just say that Heather is WAY funnier in person and on stage..and Chelsea had to rant and ramble (vodka anyone??) to get some laughs.She even had to comment on my spouse's package while he was standing at the exit waiting for me in the loo. We left early and stood outside as Chelsea really had nothing funny to say. She is MUCH funnier one on one and when she has her cohorts.

Her show suits her better and well let us all recall how AWFUL the MTV music awards were...the critics had a field day. SO WHAT have you had published lately? AND lets see..I could barely get through Chelseas latest boo..snore. So lets give a first time author who is a RIOT and NOT A DRUNK a break... on Sale!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Stories from Candyland

!1: Now is the time Stories from Candyland Order Today!

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$5.16
Date Created :
Oct 08, 2010 09:57:12

Carole Gene Marer spent her girlhood dreaming of meeting Rock Hudson, but when she finally had the chance—on her second date with her future husband, television mogul Aaron Spelling—she was so shy she hid all night in the powder room. How Candy morphed from that quiet girl into a seemingly-confident, stylish trophy wife, mistress of the largest house in Los Angeles (70,000 square feet when you count the attic) is at the heart of Stories from Candyland.

The life Candy created for her family—her husband and children Tori and Randy—was fabulous, over-the-top, and often magical. So what if California Christmases don’t come with snow? Let’s make some on the tennis court! How do we take a cross-country family vacation with a dad who doesn’t fly? By private train car, of course (with an extra for the fifty-two pieces of luggage). The kids want to dress up for Halloween? No problem, why not call in Nolan Miller to design their costumes?

Candy had a hand in some of the most beloved television shows of all time (she once stopped production on “Dynasty” because Krystle Carrington’s engagement ring was not spectacular enough), has entertained half of Hollywood in epic fashion, and lives an enviable life. But under all the fun and showmanship lies a more interesting character, still wrestling with some of the insecurities of her ingénue self. Oprah threw her into a major panic with a discussion of hoarding. A lifelong humming habit evolved as a unique coping mechanism. And there’s nothing like being defined as, “well, you know, complicated” by your daughter on television and in her own book.

Stories from Candyland sparkles with glamour and grand gestures. But it also satisfies with some more intimate Candy concerns: why being a perfect wife and mother was so important to her, how cooking and cleaning can keep the home fires burning, why collections matter, and whether dogs are better judges of people than people are.

Visit Candyland in these pages and get a glimpse of a generous, glittering world revealing many of its surprising and funny secrets for the first time.

!1: Best Buy I found this book to be quite touching. After reading each of Tori's books, in reverse chronological order, I was interested to see what Candy's book was about. It is not a fair comparison to rate Candy's book against her daughter's. The two of them are vastly different individuals, each with their own perspectives on their life experiences.
Candy puts herself out there to share who she is and who she was. What is missing is manufactured drama for entertainment's sake. It may have taken a lot of courage on her part to do this and keep it honest. I don't think you can truly understand and appreciate this attempt to have a voice and to "matter" until you get to this stage of life and become a grandparent yourself.
This is a sweet read, and I will try out a few of the recipes (carrot cake!) as well.
on Sale!

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